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Drugged, Raped, Mocked but Undaunted: I #StandwithJada, by Darasimi Oshodi

 

Jada, a 16-year-old girl, was invited to a party. When she got there, the host gave her a drink of punch and after taking the drink, she passed out and was not aware of every other thing that happened at the party. A few weeks later, she realised that she had been raped and that her photo was taken while she was lying on the ground unconscious. She only became aware of what happened that night when photos of her naked body started circulating on the Internet. As if that was not worrisome enough, some Internet users started taking pictures of themselves mimicking Jada’s pose while she was lying unconscious on the ground and posted those pictures on the Internet with the hash tag #jadapose, which some have termed as a social media low. Some even posted videos, including dance videos to mock her.

But in a rare show of courage, she has decided to come out and speak about the whole incident. Jada, who revealed that she was angry about the whole thing, said, “I had no control. I didn’t tell anyone to take my clothes off and do what they did to me.” And about her reason for coming out, she said, “There’s no point in hiding. Everybody has already seen my face and my body, but that’s not what I am and who I am.”

What is heartwarming is the support Jada has received since she came out to tell her side of the story. These people have also come up with counter hash tags like: #jadacounterpose and #standwithjada with the aim of drumming up support for Jada and also to discourage attacks on the female gender by males. Even the #jadapose meme has been hijacked and is now being used to attack its initial aim. Continue reading “Drugged, Raped, Mocked but Undaunted: I #StandwithJada, by Darasimi Oshodi”

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Superstars and Superflaws

By Darasimi Oshodi

Lance Armstrong, Oscar Pistorius, Aaron Hernandez. Why are superstars falling from grace to grass? Pistorius’ and Hernandez’s cases are still in court so it is subjudice, using the legal parlance, meaning one cannot make any conclusive statement on them, at least not in public. The sports world was shaken earlier this year when Armstrong admitted that he had been using drugs for a very long time despite repeated denials. He admitted he used performance-enhancing drugs during all seven of his Tour de France wins. During his confession, which he made to Oprah Winfrey, one of America’s top show hosts, he said, “I view this situation as one big lie I repeated a lot of times. I made those decisions, they were my mistake and I’m here to say sorry.”

One question that probably has been running through the minds of sports followers/lovers is why our revered sports heroes fall from their place of exaltation to great depths of ignominy. Why do people we have come to admire and hero worship turn out to be pretenders, hypocrites and at times criminals or lawbreakers? These individuals were once stars who were famous because of their dazzling sports career but due to crucial errors in judgment and sometimes, persistent ill habits, their names and careers have been tarnished. Check this short list:

Tiger Woods: Top golfer and former champion Tiger Woods was charged with infidelity and extra-marital affair. The scandal cost him his marriage and sponsors. It is believed he had extra-marital affairs with as many as 17 women. Woods accepted that he was a sex-addict and was admitted to re-hab. Only recently has he managed to get a few sponsors back though his form remains shaky on the golf course.

Mike Tyson: A former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion who had the record of knocking down his opponent in the first 91 seconds of the fight. He was arrested for rape and was later sentenced to six years in prison followed by four years of probation. Apart from rape, he has been embroiled in different controversies but his most remembered controversy was when he bit both ears off Evander Holyfield during a match.

Ben Johnson:  Johnson tested positive for performance enhancing drugs after winning the 100 metres sprint at the 1988 Seoul Olympics and was forced to give up his medal. He later admitted to having used the banned substance the previous year at the World Championship and was stripped of that title as well. He attempted to stage a return but failed another test and was banned for life.

Marion Jones finished with three gold medals and two bronze at the Sydney 2000 Olympics, a feat that had never been done. But Jones was stripped of her medals after she admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs. After the Sydney Olympics in 2000, Jones was accused of taking steroids by her ex-husband, among others. Tests proved nothing but Jones confessed to lying to federal agents about her drug use. She returned the five medals she had won and was also handed a six month prison sentence. She had been accused of using illicit substances from her school days. As if that was not enough, she was also accused of being part of a check-counterfeiting scheme linked to her former coach, Steve Riddick, her sports agent Charles Wells, and her ex-boyfriend, Tim Montgomery.

The stories related above are sad because the characters involved were, at one time, on top of the world but came crashing down and even out of our consciousness. What must have caused this? Simply put, lack of character. All of these sport stars either lacked character or lost their character at a point. They got to the top but could not stay at the top. At different times and fora, I have heard that ability/talent can take you to the top but character will keep you there. This is indeed true of the characters in the aforementioned stories and many other celebrated personalities who have been disgraced. The absence of character has caused many to fall from grace to grass in all spheres of life. The list is endless.

So what is character? Character is much more than just what we try to display for others to see, it is who we are even when no one is watching. Good character is doing the right thing because it is right to do what is right. People without character live hypocritical lives. The personality they present to people is different from what they are in their closet. And eventually their secrets are exposed bringing them great opprobrium. There is a saying in Yoruba land, where I come from, that character is like smoke and that no matter how hard one tries to hide it, it will eventually be detected

From these stories, I have again learned that character is essential and must be maintained at all times. While we all have our weaknesses, we must ensure to deal with them. Why? The weakness we don’t deal with will deal with us. The vice that we don’t overcome will overcome us and may disgrace us. If we must stay at the top, we must maintain good character. As we enter the year 2014, let’s check ourselves and identify weaknesses that we need to deal with and then go ahead and deal with them.

P.S: I pray that justice will be rightly dispensed in the Oscar Pistorius’ case.

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Trailblazing Nigerians, Bishop David Oyedepo and Alhaji Aliko Dangote: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Darasimi Oshodi, the author
Darasimi Oshodi, the author

One is primarily a preacher; the other is a business mogul. One is an incorrigible unrepentant Christian; the other a faithful Muslim. One is a blunt, no-nonsense personality; the other is a discreet and reserved individual. But they are both entrepreneurs. They are visionaries. They have made their impact on the Nigerian society. They cannot be ignored in the scheme of things. They both wield enormous influence on practically every sphere of our national life in Nigeria.

 

Bishop David Olaniyi Oyedepo is the founder and presiding bishop of Living Faith Church World Wide, also known as Winners Chapel, which has its headquarters, a 5,000-acre (20 km2) land called Canaanland, in Ota Ogun State, Nigeria. The church dedicated a 50, 000 capacity auditorium, Faith Tabernacle, in 1999 and has established about 100 educational institutions based on Christian principles across Nigeria and the African Continent from primary to tertiary levels. Bishop Oyedepo, born in 1954, was in 2011 named by Forbes magazine as the richest pastor in Nigeria.

 

Alhaji Aliko Dangote is the Founder/Chief Executive of the Dangote Group, a conglomerate which started in 1977 as a small trading firm with a loan from his uncle. Today, his business interests cut across food processing, cement manufacturing, freight, telecommunications, etc. Dangote, who was born in 1957 and whose conglomerate is the largest industrial group in Nigeria, is ranked by Forbes Magazine as the richest man in Africa and the 43rd richest person in the world.

What do these two individuals have in common? Maybe the questions to ask is can these two very dissimilar individuals possess anything in common? My answer is in the affirmative. Yes they can and indeed they do have some things in common. Let’s check out some of the similarities between a bishop and an alhaji. Continue reading “Trailblazing Nigerians, Bishop David Oyedepo and Alhaji Aliko Dangote: Two Sides of the Same Coin?”

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If Nelson Mandela was a Nigerian

By Darasimi Oshodi

If Nelson Mandela was a Nigerian

Nelson MandelaWas Nelson Mandela a man from our clime? Was he truly African? He definitely did not think or act like an African. He looked like he came from another world. He exhibited characteristics that you would hardly find in an African leader and that is why he is respected the world over. He was a true statesman, a man of integrity, a man of peace, the father of a nation, a bridge builder, a visionary, a selfless personality, a man who knew how to connect with the people he led, a man who lived for the people and who will continually be in the hearts of people the world over.

This post is a tribute to this extraordinary person. It is my own way of showing how much he was different from the rest of us in Africa and particularly, our politicians in Nigeria. The following, therefore, are my thoughts on how he might have acted if he was a Nigerian.

If Nelson Mandela was a Nigerian:

  • He would have spent more than one term in office as president.
  • He would have tried (and might have succeeded) to tinker with his country’s constitution to elongate his time in office perpetually.
  • He would have found a way to get back at a particular ethnic group for the years he spent in incarceration.
  • He would have set up a sham truth and reconciliation commission.
  • He would have made himself the life patron of the African National Congress (ANC).
  • If he eventually left office, his home would be the venue of different political meetings where fates of election candidates would be determined.
  • He would have installed his crony or a puppet in office as his successor.
  • He would have spoken against the administration of succeeding presidents.
  • He would have denied his health condition or the cause of his son’s death (when he died of AIDS in 2005) but instead would have provided various cover-up stories.
  • His children would have been made ministers.
  • He would have asked to be flown out of the country for medical treatment.
  • An expatriate company would have built a palatial mansion for him as a retirement gift.
  • He would never have retired from public life (that’s actually a strange concept to Africans). He would be seeking relevance by all means. Ironically, the great Madiba was relevant till death and still is even in death. He never sought relevance but he could not be ignored. He was venerated. He was loved. He was celebrated.

Continue reading “If Nelson Mandela was a Nigerian”

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What is on your bucket list?

By Darasimi Oshodi

“Every man dies – Not every man really lives.” ~ William Ross

Do you have a bucket list? Or maybe I should ask, “Have you heard of the term ‘bucket list’?’’ I first came across the term ‘bucket list’ from the 2007 film, The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. If you don’t have an idea of what the term means, below is an example of a bucket list.

  1. Write a book
  2. Take singing lessons
  3. Take my grandmother on a vacation to the destination of her choice
  4. Build or buy a home
  5. Take my children to the White House
  6. Travel around the country
  7. Travel the World.
  8. Fly first class on an international trip.
  9. Write your memoir

10. Publish a book

11. Learn to play a new musical instrument.

12. Learn painting.

13. Learn photography.

14. Learn how to start a business.

15. Start a blog.

16. Public speaking.

17. Own your dream home.

18. Own your dream car.

19. Start a company

20. Donate blood

Does it look like goal setting? For me, it doesn’t necessarily have to be about goals but wishes. A bucket list is list of all the things you desire to experience during your lifetime. Your bucket list contains all the wishes and desires that you have always wanted to fulfill. Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them. Your bucket list is your wish list. The reason I said bucket lists don’t have to be about goals is because the activities or experiences listed don’t have to be time-bound. Continue reading “What is on your bucket list?”

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The Ten Thousand-Hour Rule: Becoming a Champion

Darasimi Oshodi
Darasimi Oshodi

By Darasimi Oshodi

“Champions do not become champions when they win an event, but in the hours, weeks, and months, and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely a demonstration of their championship character.”

The statement above is credited to Michael Jordan who is arguably the best basket ball player ever.

Jordan’s long time coach, Phil Jackson reveals that it was hard work that made him a legend. When Jordan first entered the league, his jump shot wasn’t good enough. He spent his off season taking hundreds of jumpers a day until it was perfect. He says Jordan’s defining characteristic wasn’t his talent but the humility to know he had to work constantly to be the best.

From childhood, Serena and Venus Williams would go to the tennis court at 6 o’clock in the morning before going to school and when they returned from school, go back for tennis practice. Any wonder then the two of them have dominated women’s tennis.

Kobe Bryant spends his free time endlessly practicing jump shots. Workers at his club, the Los Angeles Lakers say he is always doing the same thing at their practice facility at all hours of the day and night.

It is reported that Demosthenes, a great orator of Ancient Greece, stammered and was inarticulate as a youth yet became a great orator through dedicated practice which included placing pebbles in his mouth.

I read that Tiger Woods’ father started teaching him golf at eighteen months. So it should not be too surprising that he took the world of golf by storm at age eighteen.

The Beatles performed live in Germany over 1,200 times between 1960 and 1964 and by the time they went back to England they had become inimitable. Those hours spent performing paid off.

Bill Gates gained access to a computer in 1968 at the age of 13 and spent thousands of hours programming on it. His efforts have been hugely rewarded. Continue reading “The Ten Thousand-Hour Rule: Becoming a Champion”

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You are Not a Prisoner of Your Past

Darasimi Oshodi

The ability to recall facts, events and names of people is a trait that is admired by many. I believe this is also a trait that is needed for one to succeed in academics and other areas of life. People are usually pleased when people remember their names and they tend to think such persons regard them as special. So the ability to remember things is one that everybody should possess (and I think everybody possesses this ability to a degree).

Every one of us also possesses the ability to forget things. It is just natural with us to forget things because of the enormous amount of information that we take in all the time.  My inspirational teacher explained human beings’ ability to forget things in a write-up he titled How Old is Your Knowledge? He explains that human knowledge can easily become stale or obsolete if not used all the time. He explained this with a graphic analogy: Knowledge is like documents that come into a pigeon-hole. The first document to come in soon takes the back seat as more documents are placed in the pigeon-hole. This means, he said, that the knowledge acquired today soon becomes obsolete or forgotten when not applied. So it is just natural for us to forget things. Continue reading “You are Not a Prisoner of Your Past”

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