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Life Gives You What You Ask of Life

In January 2013, I was at a petrol station (gas station as the Americans will say) to refill the fuel tank of my car. As the petrol attendant was refilling the tank of my car, I heard a voice. The voice was so distinct and mellifluous that I could not ignore it. “Could you please give me N50?” (Fifty naira is a Nigerian currency) I looked towards the left and right to ascertain the direction where the voice emanated from. I asked the petrol attendant if she had said anything. She answered in the negative. At that point, I carefully searched for the owner of the voice. After some time, the voice repeated what it initially said “Could you please give me N50?” This time I knew where it came from. It was the voice of a demented woman that sat very close to the entrance of the petrol station. I was shocked, to say the least, because of the impeccable Queen’s English spoken by the mad woman!

Meanwhile before the mad woman asked me for a token of N50, one of the petrol attendants had asked me for a tip. I asked the petrol attendant to tell me how much she wanted. Her response: “Give me anything”. I juxtaposed the response of the petrol attendant with that of the mad woman. And I began to wonder how an insane person could be specific about her demand, while a sane person was asking for anything. While I gave the mad woman what she asked for, I used my discretion to offer to the petrol attendant what I thought she deserved. I wanted to give her more, but since she asked for anything I gave her what I considered to be anything! Continue reading “Life Gives You What You Ask of Life”

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Jose Mourinho as a Metaphor of Purpose

Purpose, according to Encarta Dictionary, means “reason for existence; the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made.” To everything there is a purpose. Nothing exists without a reason. When God created man, He had His reason for doing so.  He created man to have dominion, to subdue and to multiply. To have dominion, subdue or multiply therefore man must understand his make-up; he must know what makes him tick and what comes to him naturally. Yes, naturally! No one or nothing can thrive well outside his/its natural habitat. If you take fish out of water, for instance, it is an invitation to doom. So, to be able to fulfil purpose in life one must operate within one’s natural habitat.

Jose MourinhoIn the round leather game, one name that has been a recurring decimal, especially in the last one decade is Mourinho. José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix, or simply José Mourinho is a Portuguese football manager, currently the head coach of Real Madrid. He is commonly known as “The Special One”. Mourinho is regarded by some players, coaches, and critics as one of the best football coaches of all time. Mourinho started out as a player and eventually switched to management. After working as a physical education teacher and spells working as a youth team coach, a scout, and an assistant manager in the early 1990s, he became an interpreter for Sir Bobby Robson. He worked with Robson at Sporting Lisbon and Porto in Portugal, and Barcelona in Spain. He remained at the Catalonian club after Robson’s departure and worked with his successor Louis van Gaal.

He began focusing on coaching and impressed with brief but successful managerial periods at Benfica and União de Leiria, taking the latter to their highest ever league finish. He returned to Porto in early 2002 as head coach, winning the Primeira Liga, Taça de Portugal, and UEFA Cup in 2003. In the next season, Mourinho guided the team to victory in the Supertaça Cândido de Oliveira, to the top of the league for a second time, and won the highest honour in European club football, the UEFA Champions League. Mourinho moved to Chelsea the following year and won the Premier League title, the club’s first league title in 50 years, and the League Cup in his first season. In his second year Chelsea retained the Premier League and in 2006–07 he took the club to an FA Cup and League Cup double, though they finished as league runners-up. He often courted controversy for his outspokenness, but his victories at Chelsea and Porto established him as one of the world’s top football managers. Mourinho left Chelsea in September 2007, amidst reports of a rift with club owner Roman Abramovich. Continue reading “Jose Mourinho as a Metaphor of Purpose”

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A Tale of Three Teachers

In my over 3 decades of existence on the surface of the earth I have had the opportunity to interact with three different teachers. I have been impacted one way or the other by all of them.  My experience in life has made me to tag two of them as ‘rich teachers’, while the other one a ‘poor teacher’.

In 1984 I lost my father to the icy hands of death. He died at a tender age! Despite the fact that he died young, he achieved so much. He actually became a director in one of the Agencies of the Federal Republic of Nigeria at 38. This is not a mean feat! I work 9-5 with an Agency of government today and I know it is not easy. My father was the breadwinner of the family. He was our all-in-all. When death called, events in our family took a downward trend. My mother was petty trader with just a First Leaving School Certificate! Things got so bad that we could hardly have a meal per day. Despite the downturn, she did not give in. The situation brought out the best in her.

One event that qualifies her as one of my rich teachers happened in December, 1984. During the festive period, everybody was preparing for how to make the period a memorable one. People were buying new clothes, chickens, goats, rice and all sorts of things. We became crestfallen and dejected because we knew nothing of such would happen in our homestead. But my mother shocked my siblings and I. She invited a tailor to our house to come and take our measurements. At first, we thought she wanted to do ‘April Fool’ for us, but this was December. We reluctantly allowed the tailor to take our measurements. After the tailor left, we enquired for where and how our mother got the money to buy a new cloth. She further amazed us with her response “I took out some of my old wrappers and loosened them.” From this singular event, she taught me to always turn problems into opportunities. Instead of brooding over any situation, she taught to think out of the box and make the best of the situation. With the simple solution she proffered to a hitherto big challenge in our eyes, we had a swell time at Christmas as we wore something ‘new’. My mother was a rich teacher; she taught me by example. She introduced me to “Problem-Solving 101”. Continue reading “A Tale of Three Teachers”

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Defining Success

By Tunde Oseni

Tunde-OseniSuccess is a relative term. It means different things to different people. Nevertheless, we all know successful people when we see them. According to The Pocket Oxford Dictionary (e-version), success means ‘accomplishment of an aim; favourable outcome; attainment of wealth, fame, or position’. People admire success and society rewards it. Simply, to me, success is what you achieve as a result of a calculated effort. This is what I mean: you succeed when you set a goal and meet it.

 

Let us begin with the story of a ‘skinny kid with a funny name’ who attempted to give life a shot with the hope that his country had a place for him too. Barack Obama overcame the stereotype of being born by a white mother, who later died of cancer, and a black father, who he truly never knew. He was raised by his maternal grandparents in Honolulu in the State of Hawaii and went to college with the full hope of making it despite odds. Barack studied Political Science at the Columbia University, worked as a ‘community organizer’ in the Southside of Chicago and went to read Law at Harvard University where he rose to become the first black President of the venerated Harvard Law Review. Barack then became an attorney, elected a state senator, appointed an adjunct professor, and then elected as a national senator, and eventually the first man of his skin colour to become the President of the United States of America. That is success.

 

Now, success is not just about becoming a president or a governor or being awarded a Nobel Laureate. Success comes in different garbs, colours and sizes. At times success may connote such a simple achievement as getting one’s dream job. For instance, one of my friends, Chukwuemeka Fred Agbata Jnr., now CEO of CFA Leverage, shared with us how elated he became after securing a job with Globacom Limited. He said he was hopeful that he would secure the employment despite the discouragement by many of his contemporaries who insisted that getting such a job with a big Telecoms required ‘connections’ and since my friend didn’t have one he would fail. He succeeded.

 

I believe that anybody can set a goal, make calculated effort, through organised planning and self-motivation, and reach that goal. It is however important to differentiate between good success and bad success. This may be a paradoxical way of looking at the concept of success. But we probably do need to classify some success as good and some as bad in order to separate what is truly glorifying from what is merely vain-glorious.  Continue reading “Defining Success”

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Beyond Showing Up: Did You Change the Outcome?

It’s tempting and comforting to put in an appearance and do what is anticipated of you: nod, take notes, and enjoy the refreshments and leave. Being negative should not imply actively pulling down only. If you’re not putting in the effort to add something, it’s equivalent to actively taking something away. It hurts all of us.

If you always show up and do just what you’re expected to do, you’re only faintly different from the guy who never shows up. It’s when you make a contribution that changes the outcome of the day, the meeting, the project, that you will be borne in mind and appreciated. Humans by nature respect and adore individuals who do more beyond just showing up.

There’s a cost for your inclusion: there’s the monetary cost, and also the cost of lost opportunity by the other person who does not get a seat at the table Continue reading “Beyond Showing Up: Did You Change the Outcome?”

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The Unexpected Coffee Break

I had a conversation with a friend who has just been fired from his work. He told me that when his manager invited him to get a cup of coffee, he considered it a chance to have discussion around promotion, pay raise or a new assignment. He was performing well at work and getting positive feedback from colleagues and supervisors. But a few minutes into the coffee session, his manager broke the news. “You’re fired”, may be in a more diplomatic way but whatever form it took, it translates to one thing, he was fired.

We’re told that if we to do the right thing at the right time and get ourselves at the right place at the right time, we can ensure job security, promotion, and stability and happiness. In truth, even after we’ve done everything right, even after you’ve done what your manager expected you to do, and have been voted the employee of the month, change suddenly pops up.  And sometimes change can be big and unpleasant. Continue reading “The Unexpected Coffee Break”

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Being Smart Is Not Good Enough for Today

Yesterday, being smart was good enough. Today, the landscape is different. The business environment has evolved and become super competitive. The world is moving faster than we can cope. Today, being smart is not adequate. You got to be getting smarter each day. It is only by stretching yourself and exploring opportunities for continual improvement that you will be able to both secure the space you have and acquire new territories.

You can explore continual self improvement articles here.

 

 

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Giving Back Is Noble, But Is it Motivated by Pity or Empathy?

empathyGiving back to the community is a noble thing. Our religious and political leaders encourage it. Many do this by volunteering their time to serve in underserved communities at home or abroad.

 

In some cases, the desire to do community service, foreign charity travel or volunteer to serve in a rural area may be motivated by a feeling of pity for those in need. My observation is that a feeling of pity for the needy creates the status of a boss, a provider or a superior for the giver. A service that is inspired by a feeling of pity accomplishes little. Sometimes, it does more harm than good.

 

To make real impact on people and communities, a service should be inspired by empathy. This is where you go to the communities with the desire to learn and understand them. You put yourself in their shoes; you enter their head and feel their feelings. It is by doing so that you in partnership with the communities can address the problems they have. Continue reading “Giving Back Is Noble, But Is it Motivated by Pity or Empathy?”