black women Archives - TalkAfrique

November 24, 2010January 2, 2011

Today’s black women don’t see love in colors

For many black women in America, finding love has become a serious issue.

Census data show that roughly 40 percent of black adult women in the U.S. have never been married. That’s nearly twice the percentage of white women.

One entrepreneur in Los Angeles is fighting the odds. Her mission: move black women from no man’s land to a diverse dating world.

Black Girl’s Guide To Interracial Dating

Fleace Weaver, an L.A. socialite and the organizer of "Free Your Mind: The Black Girls Guide to Interracial Dating.

More than 100 black women pack a small Italian restaurant near West Los Angeles. It’s standing-room only. They’re not there for the food; they’re there for a seminar called "Free Your Mind: The Black Girl’s Guide to Interracial Dating."

There’s no reason for us to believe we have to be alone. The only thing that’s keeping us from finding someone is that we limit ourselves.

Fleace Weaver, an L.A. socialite and the organizer of the night’s event, got the idea after noticing that many of her black friends had it all — a career, house, independence — but no man.

Weaver is black. She dates men of all colors — black, white, brown — and wants more black women to do the same. "I am an international lover. All right; I am an equal opportunity lover," Weaver says. "That means I love who is good to me. I don’t want anybody just because they’re a certain color."

Some black professional women say it’s harder to find a black man at their same education and income level. You can see the trend on college campuses. According to the Department of Education, in the fall of 2007, 64 percent of black students enrolled in college were women.

But Weaver argues that Mr. Right doesn’t have to be Mr. Black. "There’s no reason for us to believe we have to be alone. The only thing that’s keeping us from finding someone is that we limit ourselves," Weaver says.

Crossing Racial Lines For Love

Interracial dating is a sensitive issue in the black community. Blacks have a brutal history with race relations; some blacks see dating outside the race as betraying the culture.

Still, more black men are thinking outside the box. According to research from Stanford University, black men are nearly three times more likely than black women to marry interracially.

If black women are set on "black love only," Weaver says they may be passing up good men. "Some of you all out here have gotten some signals, and you all missed them. Or you got signals, and you all blew him off because he wasn’t chocolate," Weaver says. "But we’ve got to get over that — unless you want to be home with chocolate cats."

Let’s Talk Men

A dozen nonblack men — all of whom date or are married to black women — speak on a panel. They answer questions about crossing the color line. For instance: How do you know if a nonblack guy likes black women?

"If a white guy, Asian guy or Mexican guy — whatever race, irrelevant — likes you and he has skills, then he’s going to ask you out, just like a black man would. If you’re in a social setting and a man comes up to you, he’s interested. That’s it," says panelist Francisco Dao.

The panel also touches on that other sensitive topic for black women: hair. Are other men OK with the various textures and styles of black women’s hair? The entire panel agrees: short, long, straight or kinky, it doesn’t matter.

Christopher Rawley is white and is married to a black woman. After his wife burned herself with a curling iron, he told her: "Don’t do this because of what you think I want you to be like. Be you. And you’re beautiful natural. You’re beautiful however you want to feel," Rawley says.

Weaver also invited a few black men to speak to show that they support this cause — that the program is not to bash them. The group includes Ryeal Simms, a relationship coach who encourages his black female clients to expand their options — but to do it for the right reasons. "Because if you’re going in it thinking that if he’s not African-American, he’s going to treat me better, and I’m going to be really happy regardless, we’re all still men," Simms says.

Regardless of whom the women choose to date, Weaver hopes they leave the seminar with at least one thought.

"Dating is just dating. Men are just men. You know, it’s all the same at the end of the day," Weaver says.

(Source, NPR)

November 22, 2010May 31, 2011

Today in fashion: Flatter your face with earrings

by KATE HALIM

Do you believe that wearing a pair of earrings could flatter your face? There are few women who have perfect face shapes, others who are not so lucky think of changing their hair styles often to make them look great.

Earrings are a popular piece of jewellery and it is essential to choose the right ones for your face shape, because wearing the right earrings will lift and define your facial features. To determine your face shape, start by pulling your hair away from your forehead with a hair band, stand in front of a mirror and trace the outline of your face with a soap bar or lipstick in the mirror.

Below are some face shapes and best earrings to flatter your face:
The oval face is the ideal shape, and many kinds of earrings could go for this shape perfectly. You can try some sterling silver earrings, but avoid sporting a too-long face, don’t wear incredibly long shapes that will pull the face down.
Ladies who have round faces will have to make their face look slimmer, and the long length earrings are really helpful. Circular earrings, such as hoops, as well as tiny studs and button earrings are a no-no for this face shape.

To balance the wide forehead for the heart face, you should wear chandelier and teardrop earrings. Avoid earrings that have the same shape as your face, like heart-shaped hoops and short earrings. For ladies endowed with square face, which is characterized by strong and broad forehead with angular jaw and a square hair line, circular earrings, such as hoops do the magic. Square, rectangular or harshly angled earrings that echo your face shape should be done away with.

The oblong face shape is longer than it is wide, ladies with this face should lift their faces with statement chandelier earrings, as well as studs because they create appeal. Avoid long and angular earrings that echo your face shape. With the above tips, you are ready to flatter your face with the right earrings.

November 16, 2010May 31, 2011

So what’s up with this one shoulder thing?

First of all let me say that I’m not a journalist. I’m a chemist. What I do here is called blogging. Blogging gives me more latitude to cover whatever crosses my mind hoping somebody will read them.

For the past few weeks, I have been writing heavily on malaria, Robert and Grace Mugabe, poverty in Africa and the responsibilities of developed nations towards Africa.

I would like to digress today. I’ll attempt to talk about fashion.

As we say, ladies first. I’ve being observing this one shoulder bandwagon for a while. As a disclaimer, let me say that I find them cool, cute, and flirty- all at the same time (in fact, most of the time). I always thought this one shoulder thing was an American trend until I visited Ghana in March/April this year. I was there for a few weeks but I had the opportunity to attend a funeral one Saturday. By the way, if you’re uniformed, Saturday’s are for funeral in Ghana, unless you’re an Adventist.

]It was at this funeral that I realized how mistaken I was. As a scientist, I hate to give unsubstantiated percentages unless I have the figures to calculate them. However, from my ‘guesstimation’, l can say that half of the women I saw at the funeral were one-shoulder moms. So it wasn’t an American thing, after all. Another surprising observation I made was that, this one-shoulder phenomenon is no respecter of age. I could easily spot one shoulders among teens, twenty somethings, thirty somethings, all the way into the seventy somethings.

“Ok so this one-shoulder trend is a global phenomenon”. I accepted with some childlike guilt.

And those women 5000 miles away even know how to make it extra youthful and classy than their western counterparts. I never knew you could combine a one-shoulder dress and a head scarf and blow it up with a bold belt. What a new twist. I saw it live and they looked kind of neat. What they probably need is some tight strapless bras to go with their one shoulders, and they’ll surely be unstoppable.

If air tickets down a little bit, I”ll repeat my adventure next spring. I’ll report back what I see. No shoulders? You bet. Perhaps, it no new thing over there.

November 12, 2010January 24, 2011

In Ghanaian Village, American Woman Reigns As King

Ofeibea Quist-Arcton, NPR

An american woman installed King in a ghanaian village

It was two years ago, at 4 a.m. at her apartment in Maryland, that Peggielene Bartels got the news from West Africa. A relative called from Ghana to say that her uncle, the king of the fishing village of Otuam, had died.

The news didn’t end there. She was also informed that she had been anointed his successor: King Peggy.

“He said, ‘No, no, no, no, Nana, don’t hang up,'” Bartels recalls. “‘We chose so many names, male and everybody, and somebody suggested that we choose your name, also. And when we poured libation and did the rituals, as soon as we mentioned your name, it started vaporing and we were surprised. So we did it three times. So that’s when we got to know that you are the king.'”

Nana Amuah-Afenyi VI is Bartels’ new title, but she is better known as King Peggy. This straight-talking, 57-year-old is the first woman in her fishing community of 7,000 people in Ghana’s Central Region to be anointed a king, or “nana.”

She now juggles two lives — from the palace in Otuam and from a modest condo outside Washington, D.C. Since the 1970s, Bartels, a naturalized U.S. citizen, has been a secretary at Ghana’s Embassy in Washington where she still spends most of her time, running royal affairs back home in Otuam over the phone and on trips to Ghana.

“So, when they told me, I was a little bit reluctant to accept it, because it comes with responsibilities. And here is a secretary in the United States, I have my own obligations, bills and stuff and becoming a king, you have to be really rich,” she says.

“And then, as if someone was talking to me, a voice said, ‘Accept it, it is your destiny and you will be helped to help your people.'”

With help from her friends and scraping together her own savings, King Peggy says she is determined to help her people in Ghana to progress.

On a sweltering day in Ghana, Peggy is overseeing her uncle’s funeral. A slight breeze is blowing in from the Atlantic Ocean and the freshly painted blue and white royal residence gleams. In the sandy courtyard, drums are beating while a man in a trance performs a frenzied dance before a sea of red and black — mourners dressed for a royal burial.

The former king died in 2008, but his body was kept in a mortuary until King Peggy could save up enough money to give him a proper send-off. She’s dressed like a king — albeit with a touch of lipstick — wrapped toga-style in regal red traditional fabric and seated upon a royal stool.

Dignitaries attending the funeral include another royal, Nana Boakye Asafo Adjei, the Sanahane, or ruler, of Asamankese Traditional Area in eastern Ghana.

He said he had nothing but respect for King Peggy.

“I’ve been really surprised by what she has done because I thought being a woman, she can’t,” he said. “But she has competed with the men, so I give her congratulations. She is now a king, so she has a lot to handle.”

Bartels says most people are willing to work with a woman as their traditional ruler.

“The women are so happy for me, they are really on my side,” she says. “But it’s only a few elderly men — because they are used to bossing females around. And I don’t give them the chance. They are the people resisting me.”

She adds that during meetings, if they feel she is coming on too strong, they say: “‘Listen you’re a woman, so you listen to us.’ Then I also say, ‘I’m in the States, I’m a woman and, in the rituals with the ancestors, you chose me in the name of God, so shut up and sit down.’ And they will sit.”

Back in the U.S., King Peggy is on the lecture circuit, talking about Ghana, its traditions and her fishing community. While she’s in Otuam, she presides over fisherfolk and has confronted many hurdles, including, she says, tackling graft and dishonesty within the royal circle.

“At first when I started, it was a tough challenge because they were just collecting our family fishing fees and they were misusing the funds. But I came on so strong,” she says. “So I had a tough time straightening that out.”

Dressed in customary black and red funeral clothing, villagers from the Otuam fishing community carry the casket of their late ruler Nana Amuah-Afenyi V, who died two years ago. He is succeeded by his niece, King Peggy, a secretary at the Ghanaian embassy in Washington, who says she had to save up to give her uncle a fitting send-off

King Peggy insisted future proceeds go directly into an account in a rural bank they opened in her village. She rejuvenated her royal council to include people she trusted, and has turned her attention to improving the lives of her community.

The next project is to build a high school for students who have finished ninth grade, she says.

A villager, carrying a large basin upon her head, gives King Peggy high marks for her rule. Aba Nyame Bekyere, 51, a former fishmonger, says she’s pleased with what she hears Bartels is doing for Otuam, especially for women and children.

“Those of us who didn’t go to school, particularly the women, we’d like to learn,” she says through a translator. “And we need a high school here, so that our kids don’t have to go so far away to study.”

King Peggy is getting help from donors in the U.S., including the Shiloh Baptist Church in Landover, Md. Pastor Be Louis Colleton and his congregation heard about Bartels, met her and committed to helping her fishing community.

Colleton and more than a dozen other Americans accompanied her from Maryland to Ghana this fall and traveled to palm tree-lined Otuam, along the shores of what used to be part of West Africa’s Atlantic slave coast.

“We have covenant with Nana, the king — we as a church — to help her to better her community of people to bring fresh water,” he says. “Now we’re moving toward the possibility of establishing a school.”

November 12, 2010January 24, 2011

Black women getting a raw deal in cancer treatment

Each day around 125 women are diagnosed with breast cancer, but are they all getting the same chances?

In this week’s Scrubbing Up, biochemist Abi Ajose-Adeogun from Better Days Cancer Care – a cancer charity for African Caribbean women – and its founder, Marina Raime, argue that black women are getting a raw deal.

They say black women with breast cancer suffer from higher death rates and that research carried out mainly on white women can produce skewed data.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer affecting women in the UK with approximately 40,000 new cases diagnosed each year.

For many years the “face of breast cancer” has been that of white middle class women, who have been used to illustrate posters and be in adverts.

The lack of any other ethnic image has led to the perception, by many, that other ethnic groups particularly black women are not at significant risk of developing breast cancer.

“Black women develop breast cancer on average 10 to 20 years younger”

And this emphasis on white women may have cost lives.

Research has continued to focus primarily on white women, leaving unearthed for many years the effects of breast cancer on different ethnic groups.

Only in the last few years have studies demonstrated that there are significant differences in the biology and epidemiology of breast cancer in black women.

But the lack of focus on this area has meant that the outcome for black women diagnosed with breast cancer in the UK is worse than their white counterparts leading to an inequality in survival rates.

In the UK, only a handful of studies have been conducted looking at black women and breast cancer.

These studies have confirmed the results of the vast number of studies conducted in the US on African-American women.

They demonstrated that black women develop breast cancer on average 10-20 years younger than white women.

In addition to this, a significant number of black women develop a more aggressive form of breast cancer. The upside for black women is that they are less at risk of developing breast cancer but for those that do develop breast cancer the outlook is worse than their white counterparts.

These differences – the younger age of onset and the more aggressive nature of the cancer – can reduce the chances of survival. And to make matters worse many of the younger women tend to be misdiagnosed and/or diagnosed late.

In addition, as a result of research being based on white women the breast cancer screening age was set at 50, which, based on the younger age of onset of disease, is too high for black women.

Also the misconception by black women themselves that they are not at risk of developing breast cancer also leads to delayed diagnosis.

Added to this the cancer is often more aggressive in black women – a type of breast cancer called triple negative breast, which is little understood or researched – further hampering survival chances.

Now Cancer Research UK and Breakthrough Breast Cancer are studying it.

But unless we want more unnecessary deaths we must correct the balance by lowering the screening age for black women; ensuring more research is conducted; introducing health education programmes to raise awareness of the signs, symptoms and risk factors of breast cancer; and supporting programmes to eliminate the barriers that black women face when accessing breast health services