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How to Overcome The Fear of The Unknown

In the world of business, it is only a fool that would work himself to death for someone else. It is true that one should strive to justify what one earns, particularly if one is an employee, but it would be suicidal for employee not to have a plan to be on his own at a point in life. This is because experience has shown that you cannot be richer than your employer, except if you are not 100% dedicated to your work or if you are cutting corners.

Some people work for security, while others work for freedom. This piece is not intended for those who work for security; it is targeted at those who are willing to take calculated risks in arriving at their desired destinations in life. Such people, I presume, know who they are and must be working consciously towards making it count in life. How can they make it count? This they can do by ensuring that what they know rubs off positively on others. That is why I say that it is not what you know that matters, but what you do with what you know.

Given that you know who you are, the challenge before you is to know what to do with it. It is not sufficient to know who you are, you must know how to maximize your God-given gift. What I have discovered is that if you do not want to lead, you are bound to be led. Put differently, if you do not want to be your own boss you will surely be bossed around by someone else. There is something in you that the whole world is waiting for. You only need to act on it as nothing moves until it is moved.

The greatest inhibition to taking one’s rightful place in life is fear. Fear has always been the bane of many a man that would have been great in life. Many, who would have become celebrities but are perceived as nonentities, have been victims of FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL (FEAR). Man is always afraid of what will happen next. He is often more concerned about tomorrow. He feels insecure and worried. This fear of the unknown has always prevented many a man from taking the bull by the horn. It makes many of us to leave our destinies in the hands of others to control.

You need to appreciate that there is nothing to fear about tomorrow.  God has not given us the spirit of fear. The expression ”fear not” appears 365 times in the Bible, which invariably means there is a dose of fear not per day! We must always remember that today is the tomorrow spoken about yesterday. If your employer had not overcome the fear of insecurity or what most of us tag ”fear of the unknown”, you would not be in that your office working. It takes courage and absolute faith in God to live the kind of life you are destined to live. Today, I run a demonstration farm in Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria, where I rear rabbits, chickens, snails, among others and still train people on the need to be self-reliant. This is possible because I confronted my fear. I could have raised several excuses why the farm should not start. Setting up the farm has come with its challenges, but the will to win has been my sustaining power.

What you must always know is that there is no gain without pain. You don’t have to fear failure. There are no secrets to success. Don’t waste your time looking for them. We pay a heavy price for our fear of failure. It is a powerful obstacle to growth. There is no learning without some difficulty and fumbling. If you want to keep on learning, you must keep on risking failure – ALL YOUR LIFE. Take that bold step now, fear not. Remember, what Orison Swett Marden said: ”many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat he would never have known great victory

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Conquering Your Fear of FEAR, FAILURE and The FUTURE

AFRICAN YOUTHS AND THE 3F ENEMIES…..GAINING VICTORY FOR SELF DEVELOPMENT.

“Know the enemy and know yourself, and in a hundred battles you will never be defeated; when you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal; if you are ignorant of both your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be defeated” – Sun Tzu (The Art of War).

The quote above is unequivocally food for thought for all ages but especially the youth. I mean the African youth who appear ‘trapped’ by these conquerable enemies identified above as 3Fs….. FEAR, FAILURE AND THE FUTURE.

Take a moment to reflect on these popular quotes on the enemy of fear:

” I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fear to do”….Eleanor Roosevelt.

”Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear”… Ambrose Redmoon. ”

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear”…Edmund Burke. ”

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom”….Bertrand Russell..

No human is immune to this ‘abstract feeling’, regardless of age, social status, and skin color. Fear in this context is not the feeling manifested by an individual when exposed to life threatening situations such as a robbery attack, natural disasters, or the fear associated with the death of a loved one. Rather, the Fear under examination is one that is absolutely within the control of its host. I’ll like to share a personal experience along this line as a youth. I remember growing up in the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria with so many attractions around. As a youth while in High school (secondary education), I had a deep interest in sciences wanting to become a Medical doctor or a Pilot. My Dad used to have a health book as big as an encyclopedia. I usually pick up the book from his library at my leisure to read even though most of what I was reading made little or no academic sense to me. Moreover, growing up in an environment that was not ‘science friendly’ so to say, I started nurturing the fear of pessimism. Added to this was the issue of finance. In school, most of those in the sciences were mates from affluent or wealthy homes. So I had this mindset like, which may be true of most young people that success in the sciences depends on the pay-book of our parents. Hence, I had to settle for the major that accommodates students from all walks of life, the Business Department.

Closely associated with ‘fear’, is the enemy of Failure. In my view, the fear of failure is largely responsible for the stagnant and under-developed psyche of an average person especially youths. In this part of the world (Africa) where superstitions and the fear of the Unknown permeates, many individuals out of lack of motivation and willpower submit themselves to the dictates of their environment thereby giving up after few encounters with failure. Interestingly though, most of the world acclaimed and celebrated personalities from time immemorial, in Africa and in the Diaspora, were beset by this ‘enemy’ on a constant basis and yet are known for success today. Bill Gates, Wright Brothers, Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka and most recently, Barrack Obama were all ‘victimized’ at one point or the other in their quest towards success by failure. However, due to determination to succeed at all cost, these individuals are known for who they are today. The same can be your experience too. Failure in my opinion, no matter how often it besets its recipient, is only a natural manifestation,  to some extent the frailty of the human species, which is inevitable before success can be realized. Ponder over this: What does it take an infant to become a toddler and grow into childhood? It takes days, weeks and months of repeated crawling, stooping and falling (failure) as a natural experience. In the same vein, failure in whatever form, be it in your academics, business, relationships and other areas of life should not be a deterrent to your progress and success in life. As a very good friend puts it in an article; ‘MAKING IT SLOWLY BUR SURELY‘, Tunde Oseni fervently addressed issues on success in life as a gradual process that takes time to materialize. Therein, he advised youths, especially those in the developing economies, never to be ‘too ambitious to succeed’. Rather, with the right ‘tools’ such as education, commitment, perseverance amongst others, success is guaranteed even though it may come slowly. Therefore, never allow the failure of today to becloud the success of tomorrow. No matter, how many times failure comes your way, realize that what matters most is your unrelenting determination to turn it into success.

The last ‘enemy’ identified above is the Future. Erroneously, many usually see the Future as being into the distant days ahead. However, the future starts today! Future in this context is the unnecessary worries, concerns and anxieties about tomorrow. Needless to state, it is vital to think or plan ahead of time. Many though have allowed themselves to be entrapped by the uncertainties of life thereby giving up effort towards a bright future. Most African youths grow up in an environment that barely impact positively on their lives. Environments where values which define us a people have been thrown into the air, environment where leaders lack integrity and national interest, environment were the youths hardly have a voice especially in government. Despite these limitations, a good number of African youths have made the best for themselves. It is important that as youths, we start positioning ourselves now in terms of empowerment for the future. Obama positioned himself years ago through academic and intellectual empowerment, emerging as the President of the United States of America in 2009. Certainly, a ‘mystery in disguise!! The same can be your experience too. A positive mindset coupled with optimism is needed to successfully wage the battle for a bright Future.

Hence, a call goes to everyone out there, especially African youths who before reading this piece may have been ‘enslaved’ as it were to FEAR, FAILURE and FUTURE. These three ‘enemies’ are within your capacity not only to control, but to conquer. May your Fear turn to be your Freedom, your Failure turn to Fortune and your Future turn to Fame.

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Are Men Just Happier People?

Francis Zulu, Zambia

Francis Zulu compares several attitudes of men and women to prove that men are happier species.

NICKNAMES

  • If Mary, Jerita and Mulenga go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Jerita and Mulenga.
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Kabundo.

EATING OUT

  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it’s only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    ·  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

  • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
    ·  A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
    ·  The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    ·  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    ·A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
    · A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    ·  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    ·  Women somehow deteriorate during the night (in most cases).

OFFSPRING

  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    ·  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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