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How to Avoid Life-threatening Mistakes by Learning from the Stories of Others
In Africa, stories are used to teach morals, to entertain, and to uphold core values as a people. At this phase of our development when we are faced with a lot of challenging situations, what we need are stories of hope, not stories of turmoil, crisis and despondency. For this reason, I shall be running stories that are capable of turning your lives around in this series. The title of today’s story is:“An Interesting Funeral”
One day all the employees of a very unusual company reached their office and all saw a big sign on the main door which said:
‘Yesterday, the person who was hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym.’
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that person who hindered the growth of their colleagues and the company itself?
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought – ‘Who is this person who was hindering my progress?’
One by one the intrigued employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it, they suddenly became speechless.
They stood near the coffin in shock and in silence. There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see themselves! There was also a sign next to the mirror that said. . .
‘There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth and IT IS YOU!’
Moral Lesson
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your husband or wife changes, when your company changes, when your church changes, when your location changes, when your money changes, when your status changes . . .
No, your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs.
Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don’t be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses. Be a winner; build yourself and your reality. It’s the way you face life that makes the difference.
“The hardest thing to see is what is in front of your eyes”
-Goethe
Scarcity amidst abundance
In the last three weeks I have been trying to organise seminars on “Moringa Oleifera”, popularly known as wonder plant, for secondary school teachers in Osun state, Nigeria. “What is Moringa?” And why secondary school teachers?
Moringa, I discovered recently, contains 7 times the vitamin C of oranges, 4 times the vitamin A of carrots, 4 times the calcium of milk, 3 times the potassium of banana and 2 times the protein of yoghurt. Besides its nutritional value, it can save millions of lives and it could be used to generate bio-gas, among others. As a result of its enormous benefits to mankind, I decided to share what I know with others so that our society can be a better place to live in. So I made up my mind to first take this money-spinning idea to my former constituency – to teachers. I taught for six years before I moved on to other things in life. I was however shocked to find out that the way it was when I was still teaching, is still the way it is now. Despite the immense opportunities in Moringa that my people in “chalk and talk” business could tap into, they bombarded me with litany of complaints such as ‘we don’t have money’, ‘the money you are charging for the seminar is too much’ and so on. You may want to ask how much is the money? Just $6 to turn their lives round! My heart bled because those who are supposed to know are actually ignorant of what could fetch them additional income. Those we expect so much from cannot see what is right in front of them!
There is no doubt that we are blessed in Africa. But we seem blind to a lot of opportunities around us simply because of our scarcity mentality. We think of what we do not have rather than taking advantage of what we have. We complain we do not have money, thinking that it is only money we need to make money. We have forgotten that we cannot rise above the level of our thinking. If we think we do not have then definitely we may not have. Besides Moringa, there are other opportunities for us that we can take advantage of in Africa, but we still complain we do not have when we live amidst abundance. How then do we overcome this scarcity mentality that has tethered us down for a long time?
The first step to take is to renew our thoughts daily. What we think about, we become. Who we are outside is a reflection of who we are inside. If you see yourself as poor person inside there is no way you can be rich outside. Most civil servants in African societies more often than not see themselves as poor, and their appearances reflect their state of mind from time to time. So, to overcome scarcity mentality, you must consciously renew your thoughts. Rid your yourself of negative thought and thoughts of scarcity. Think abundance. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Desires and confessions are intertwined; they are inseparable. While many have done their desires a lot of good through the words of their mouths, others have short-changed themselves with their confessions. You cannot be a poor person within and be rich without. You cannot be a gloomy person within and be cheerful without. What a man will be on the outside, he must first be in the inside. You must speak power to your desires which first exist as thoughts in your mind.
But beyond the renewal of your thoughts and your confessions, you must also put life to your words through action. Nothing moves unless we move. We may continue to complain we do not have if we do not activate what we have in our minds. This brings to mind the story of a man who lives in my new neighbourhood. I met this man sometime in 2008. He had a life-threatening experience during the Modakeke-Ife internecine war in 2000. He lost everything he had laboured for in the war – cars, houses, businesses! The only thing he had left was his life. This man, because of his pastoral calling, was fond of confessing positive things without taking any concrete actions. The result? He kept on complaining of lack! About a month ago, this man approached me for counsel. I had to be down-to-earth with him. I told him that what he needed was to take a concrete step. I advised him to sell one of his burnt houses to start a business. He did what I advised him to do and today he is a poultry farmer. He does not complain about not having what to eat again. He is gradually recovering what he lost during the war. It is not sufficient to confess positive thoughts alone; we need to back them up with action.
You may be thinking that taking action is not easy. I know. But it is possible to start with what you have from where you are. It is just a matter of starting small. It is little drops of water that make a mighty ocean. We may remain at the level of scarcity if we do not want to begin small. It may interest you to note that I started rabbit rearing with just 2 rabbits – 1 male and 1 female, but today I have a big rabbit farm. We do not just sell live rabbits, but also sell processed rabbits! What you do not start, cannot grow.
To overcome scarcity mentality therefore, we must consciously practise the following tips:
Renew your thoughts daily; avoid negative thoughts as much as possible and think possibilities.
Take a step beyond positive thinking; take action; and
If you think taking action is not that easy, start what you have thought about in a small way from where you are.
With the steps above, you will begin to sing a new song. No more scarcity mentality; you will begin to see the immense opportunities in Africa. You are not created to lack; you are created to have everything in abundance.
The greatest tragedy of life is for people to live and die and never come out of themselves, to never realise the possibilities hidden within them. Each time I come across people with huge potentials and who seem to be clueless about what to do with their innate abilities, my heart bleeds. To give meaning to your life you must live it on purpose. There is nothing as dangerous as living a life that has no bearing. Such a life will definitely be very boring!
How can you then give meaning to a clueless life?
The way out is to discover who you are. When you know who you are it becomes easy to live a purpose-driven life. You would have discovered the purpose for which you are in this world.
So I want you to take time to ruminate over the following and answer them as truthfully as possible:
Do I love where I am today?
Would I like to continue to do the kind of job or the kind of activity that I do today when I come of age?
Am I using my natural talent to do what I do today?
Will I like to be the best of what I am doing today?
What one thing do I need to do to make the greatest possible change in my life?
Who is doing something closest to my dream?
What area will I like to make a positive impact?
What will I like to be remembered for?
What mind-blowing accomplishment will I want my name to be associated with?
What field will I like my name to define?
What do I do best with the least effort?
What kind of help do people frequently ask from me?
What is that area people show me the greatest respect?
What can I do for fun and still earn money?
What irritates me the most when it is poorly done?
I usually lose track of time when ……………………
Which of all the human needs touches my heart most?
I am the solution, what is the problem?
Who has this problem?
Which books, magazines or discussions interest me the most?
I am convinced that if you can consciously and truthfully answer the questions above, you will discover your potentials and know exactly who you are. With this, you will have succeeded in giving meaning to your life, even if you had no clue before.
There is no limitation to what you can achieve in life. The only limitation to achieving great feats in life is the one set by you. Therefore, no matter what you are going through; no matter where you are at the moment, be admonished that it is not yet over. There is always a chance to start over. If you have failed on any project, there is good news for you: the word “fail” simply means ‘First Attempt in Learning”. You can start all over again. The fact that you are alive is an indication that you still have a second chance. Hear Helen Keller “when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed-door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us”
What this implies is that you do not need to continuously brood over what has happened as you have no power over it. You must be aware that what has been done cannot be undone. You can begin again when you see any setback in life as a learning process and press on with a positive attitude. There is nothing that happens to man in life that God does not know about. This thus suggests that whatever happens to us has a purpose and nothing happens by accident.
If you allow this to sink into your system, you will begin to see that the story of a man does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four; sometimes in life they make five or even minus three, and sometimes the black-board topples down in the middle of the sum, leaving the teacher with the black eye! We must therefore not lose sight of the fact that obstacles are there to toughen and prepare us for the challenges ahead.
This realization is possible depending on how you view any predicament you find yourselves in. Do you see the half-filled cup of water as “half-empty” or “half-full”? The way you describe such a cup of water will go a long way to depict your outlook on life. Imbibe a positive attitude to life and you will reach higher altitude and change your life for ever.
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