GIDEON OPARINDE (odili.net)
(views expressed are those of the responders and not necessarily of TalkAfrique)
In the past, it was expected that a maiden must go into marriage as a virgin. If on the first night, her husband found her not to be so, the family suffered instant condemnation.
But civilization has substantially changed the way people perceive virginity. At one time, it was even thought to be ‘bush’ if a girl dared reveal to her peers that she was still a virgin. Some girls even competed to be the first to lose their virginity to a boyfriend.
Once again, attitudes are changing, and it is becoming fashionable to be a virgin. This new development is driven more by the Pentecostal revival spreading through the world. Virginity, at least among Pentecostal Christians and fundamentalist Muslims, is being appreciated again.
Being a virgin is good, these people argue, saying that it is a key factor to whether there would be deep trust between the couple. However, there are women who were married as virgins but are now worse than whores. But then, the issue of virginity is like a two-sided coin as it also applies to men who go into marriage without having ever had sex with a woman. For women who marry such men, and considering the realities of the present time, when women have become bolder and assertive, they expect to be sexually satisfied by their husbands. So would you, whether as a man or lady prefer marrying a virgin?
Edna
Marrying a female virgin is an advantage to a man because you will know she has never been touched by any man and she is free from sexually transmitted diseases, but the other part is that when you have let her loose and she happens to have funny friends, they might talk her into testing the waters, except she is a true child of God.
Afolabi
I really would love marry a virgin, but looking at the percentage of people who are lucky enough to have virgins today, they are very few. A number of men today would not want to marry any lady without having an affair with her. When a man marries a woman who is not a virgin and he is not the first man in her life, it becomes a stigma on her. But men cause most of theses things.
Definitely, not all deflowered ladies are irresponsible, some could be victims of circumstance like rape, sweet coated men who may have promised them marriage, but determined to exploit her first. Should she not get married again?
How many women today got married as virgins? The same applies to men.
I believe if there is virginity test for men, many ladies/ women too would not want to marry an experienced man due to fear of sexually transmitted diseases. But the point is that hardly would you find a man that would satisfy an experienced lady in bed and you would hardly have rest of mind that she is still faithful to you alone.
Samuel
Yes I would like to marry a virgin because a virgin has a higher tendency to be faithful. But it is important to note that when a man marries a virgin, the lady may be tempted to stray outside to see what she missed out during her youthful days. If a man marries a woman as a virgin, it might turn out a problem to the man because of lack of experience and not knowing what to do or expect. Living in complete control of her sexuality, she might not like it but she got no choice since she is new in the game.
Ola
I would like to marry a virgin presuming that she has second hand experience on the bedmatics of sex and how to handle her man in bed. These days, virgins are hard to come by and even if there are, a large percentage of them are light years behind their peers when it comes to knowledge on the dynamics of sex.
As for me, when it comes to the issue of marriage, the most important thing is the question of sexual satisfaction. I can’t imagine my newly wedded wife on the wedding night lying down like a log of wood in bed, awaiting the long old missionary style position. Kai…what an anachronism!
There is nothing wrong in a grown-up lady getting to learn how to satisfy her man in bed whilst she is still a virgin. Some religious women feel it is wrong or immoral to explore the wonders of sex and are in themselves unattractive and anti-sexy in nature due to their mind-set. A lot of Nigerian women out there have joined the league of ladies who have thrown their ‘husbands’ away in the guise of Christian beliefs and dignity.
I can never be attracted to a woman who dresses like her grandmother no matter how anointed she is: my woman must be hot, sexy, affable and must be vast in the things that make for life and good relationships. Even the Bible says in Proverbs 5:19 that let her breasts satisfy you at all times, meaning the man is entitled to full enjoyment of his spouse in all ramifications and it is to a large extent the onus of the woman to see to the satisfaction of her man even before marriage.
The chances are that marrying a virgin might make one a victim of unsatisfactory sex life up to certain number of months or years into the marriage depending on the willingness of the woman to learn but the friction from tightness due to the novelty of the ‘wentus’ gives the man some great initial pleasure even though the woman may lack the necessary bedmatic skills.
But frankly speaking, the advantages of marrying a virgin are not far-fetched: protection from venereal diseases as long as the virgin wife remains faithful to the man and the sense of pride being gained by the man for being the one that tore open the honey well of the virgin wife.
Aderibigbe
No, I would not want to marry one because marrying a virgin today can turn into marrying of a slack hole sort. Somebody that has not tasted how sweet sex is. Now you are enjoying it from one man called your husband. If that man is not good enough to satisfy her sexual needs, she may like to change her taste by giving another man a try. In this case she may not have had the experience to handle the situation and it may lead to a break-up. In this case, marrying a sexually experienced lady will be better because they have all it takes to be a married woman.
Omole
Yes, I would love to marry a virgin, likewise every man’s desire, but let us ask ourselves too as men; how many of us are virgins? What I am looking for is not virginity but a Godsent that would add positive values to my life; a woman of great substance, a virtuous woman. I am not interested in virginity but reliability.
Why do we capitalize on women alone, let’s clear ourselves first before others, most time we are the cause of their predicaments.
Dare
Definitely yes! A virgin is an innocent female that has not been spoilt and have a sense of responsibility. Besides that, I learnt when a lady loses her virginity to someone who jilted her, she goes weird and becomes derailed. I never had the opportunity of being engaged to a virgin. If I had, I would not have allowed her elude me.
Funke
No, I won’t like to marry any guy who is a virgin. You could hardly find about 10 percent of men who are virgins. The only advantage is that he would be well informed with loads of experiences. The disadvantage is that he could be unfaithful.
Yomi
If I have my way, I would marry a virgin, but sometimes virginity has nothing to do with how cultured a lady is; rather it is just a sign of being able to vouch for her. Many virgins are worse than even those we see and tag wayward. The most important thing is marrying a God-fearing lady.
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