What the Successful People Have in Common, Part 1: Breaking Rules

If you missed the Introduction, please read it here

Introduction: What Do the Most Successful People Have in Common?

Part1: Propensity to Break Rules

In the introduction to this series I listed the propensity to break rules as one quality possessed by most of the successful people.

There are rules in life; rules for success and rules for failure. Some rules are written down rules while others are implied. Whichever the case, society lives by these rules.

I have observed that a remarkable thing about most successful people is how they break rules with impunity; that is, how they violate of everyday principles dictated by conventional wisdom. They do something differently, regardless of the consequences. When necessary, they do not hesitate to break the rules held sacred by conventional wisdom.

I would talk briefly about my first subject BJ, a colleague I’ve known since the early 1990s. You may choose to call BJ the Self Praiser because that’s exactly who he is. He praises himself to death.

There is a rule in life that says

“Do not blow Your Own Horn”

“Do not Toot Your Own Horn”

“Let others Praise You, not Yourself”

All three are saying the same thing. In fact, you’re more likely to make more enemies if you violate these rules. This rule, when religiously obeyed, can be greatly counter productive. It might have been the case for last two centuries but the competitive world we have today challenges this mindset.

I did not like BJ and the very reason I did not like him is the reason he’s gone to places I may never go. Spend an hour with BJ and you will know every skill and talent BJ has. In fact, by the end of the hour, you’ll know enough about him to write his resume for him.

On the surface BJ is an ordinary person. I may be smarter than he (OMG!) but his self praising attitude has earned him invitation to places you can only dream of; he has been hired to do that which you can tutor him.

I realize that some people are born with this quality. Others obey the rule of ‘don’t blow your own horn’ to such an extent that they never expose who they are and what they know.

Unfortunately, the world is not made of psychics. No one is going to know who you are and what you know until you tell them.

My challenge to you is that unless you’re Oprah Winfrey and you have everybody praising you, throw this rule under the bus. Dump it!

There can be strength in humility. Know that meekness does not equate weakness.

Start today. Sell what you know. God gave that to you to make a living on it and help your society. Break the rule.

If you aren’t Oprah, no one is going to praise you until you start praising yourself. Do it until others start praising you, then you can hand it over to them.

What other rules do these folks break? To be continued.

Please check back

Next on this series

Conclusion on Breaking Rules &

Passion

April 17, 2011

Exploring The Power of The Brain

One of the most exciting and complicated field of science is the study of the human brain. Recent research indicates that an individual is only able to fully utilize half of one percent of the brain’s capacity in his or her lifetime. Undoubtedly, the dynamics of the human brain remains a mystery to scientists.

The report above reveals to a large extent the under utilization of the brain by humans which can be attributed to the frailty of the human species. Taking time to reflect on this should spark in you a desire to make the best use of this wonderful gift bestowed on the human race. Imagine the ‘brains’ behind the various inventions in the world of science and technology: computers, security gadgets, electronics, automobiles, nuclear weapons, medicine and so on. Despite these marvelous achievements in this jet age, it is challenging to know that just one percent of the brain’s capacity is utilized. So, we need to ask ourselves individually: am I fully utilizing the capacity of my brain? If measured after my demise, can it be said that I was able to use up to half of the one percent of my brain?

The Human brain is distinct in its design and makeup to that of other creations such as animals. As humans, our brain makes us reason on questions such as; WHY ARE WE HERE AS HUMANS; WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE; WHY DO WE DIE AND SUFFER AS HUMANS; DOES GOD REALLY EXIST? These questions and so many more are out of reach of the animal brain. Fundamentally, we as humans are created as ‘free moral agents’, whereas, animals are created to be guided by instincts. As free moral agents, we have the capacity to make decisions on our own without external influence, to be conscious of our actions either for good or bad, and to satisfy our spiritual desires all of which animals do not possess.

In what practical ways then can the human brain be put to its best use? I want to share three ways we can make the best use of the human brain.

The first way is what I will identify as ADEQUATE REST. The human brain as part of the human body needs adequate rest to be able to function properly. Many an individual takes this serious matter with levity or display a nonchalant attitude. Scientist have suggested that on the average, the human brain should be made to relax for about seven to eight hours especially during night rest when the brain is able to better coordinate its millions of neuron cells for full utilization. Due to the demands of modern society, many people hardly give adequate rest to the brain which in scientific terms represents an individual. People work from morning all through the night with little or no rest. Imagine one in such a situation tasking the brain with less than five hours rest per day, all through the year!! That is not only an abuse of this great ‘asset’, but also suicidal to such individual. Hence, it is vital to give the brain as much rest as possible on daily basis for its full potentials to be annexed by its host. This should not be left to chance; it is a must-do affair for our personal and social development.

The second way the brain can be best utilized is PRODUCTIVE THINKING AND MEDITATION. Thinking is the seed that germinates into an idea, which grows into innovation. Thinking in this context is not one that results out of our daily concerns and anxieties such as how to meet ends needs, how to meet deadlines on the job, or how to solve a personal or family challenge. However, productive thinking and meditation is one undertaken by an individual sometimes for days, months and even years to address or proffer lasting solution to societal problems or improve the quality of human life. Such productive thinking and meditation are responsible for the innovation of airplanes by Wright Brothers, Isaac Newton’s law of gravitational force, and so many others that have contributed significantly to human development especially in the areas of science and technology. Are such accomplishments out of the reach of anyone who desires them? Hardly will I say yes.

As individuals, it is imperative we conduct an honest appraisal on how we put our brain to use through productive thinking and meditation. Therefore, there is need for us task our brain productively. This we can do by taking time off maybe an hour or less in a day, if we appear too busy all the week, maybe an hour or two over the weekend to think and meditate productively on an area of human interest that needs to be addressed or improved upon. This will be made much easier if this productive meditation is done in line with an individual’s area of interest or strength in life. In other words, if your area of interest in life is in sciences, ask yourself; what aspects of my profession need to be improved upon? In what practical ways can I proffer lasting solutions to the identified challenges in my career? Care must be taken however, not to engage the brain for productivity when it’s not naturally inclined to be. There are moments the brain undergoes some processes unknown to an individual. Any attempt to engage the brain productively at such time will bear no fruit. Hence, draw up a number of problems you can identify around your area of specialization and take a quality time to meditate productively with the convenience of the brain in your quest to invent a lasting solution to the problem. Decades ago, malaria and Polio were thought to be ailments that had come to stay with humanity. Thanks today for the brains in medical science that have proffered lasting solutions to these deadly ailments especially in children. A good sanitary environment and effective anti malaria/Polio vaccines are available as remedies.

Finally, the brain can be put to good use through HEALTHY SOCIAL INTERACTION. By this, I mean the ability of an individual to effectively interact in all spheres of human life. This includes but not limited to the academics, social clubs, religion, professional career, associations and so more. When an individual is actively involved in one or more of these forums, the brain is intellectually engaged and this aids its development. The academia for example assists an individual to interact with like-minded people in the pursuit and advancement of a given profession. Such interaction involves making extensive researches, conducting surveys, amongst others. This puts the brain to good use and help in its development.

Therefore, I challenge all you readers of this piece who are yet to be conscious of the need to fully utilize the brain as addressed above to start the exercise. The brain is just like a tool that needs constant usage under favorable environment to work properly or be productive. When a tool such as a cutlass is not utilized by a farmer for days or months, it naturally starts deteriorating. The same principle applies with equal force to the human brain. By putting the three workable suggestions above to use, you might just be positioned to be the next person whose name appears on the Guinness world Book of records for your creativity and ingenuity.

April 12, 2011April 12, 2011

How to Overcome The Fear of The Unknown

In the world of business, it is only a fool that would work himself to death for someone else. It is true that one should strive to justify what one earns, particularly if one is an employee, but it would be suicidal for employee not to have a plan to be on his own at a point in life. This is because experience has shown that you cannot be richer than your employer, except if you are not 100% dedicated to your work or if you are cutting corners.

Some people work for security, while others work for freedom. This piece is not intended for those who work for security; it is targeted at those who are willing to take calculated risks in arriving at their desired destinations in life. Such people, I presume, know who they are and must be working consciously towards making it count in life. How can they make it count? This they can do by ensuring that what they know rubs off positively on others. That is why I say that it is not what you know that matters, but what you do with what you know.

Given that you know who you are, the challenge before you is to know what to do with it. It is not sufficient to know who you are, you must know how to maximize your God-given gift. What I have discovered is that if you do not want to lead, you are bound to be led. Put differently, if you do not want to be your own boss you will surely be bossed around by someone else. There is something in you that the whole world is waiting for. You only need to act on it as nothing moves until it is moved.

The greatest inhibition to taking one’s rightful place in life is fear. Fear has always been the bane of many a man that would have been great in life. Many, who would have become celebrities but are perceived as nonentities, have been victims of FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL (FEAR). Man is always afraid of what will happen next. He is often more concerned about tomorrow. He feels insecure and worried. This fear of the unknown has always prevented many a man from taking the bull by the horn. It makes many of us to leave our destinies in the hands of others to control.

You need to appreciate that there is nothing to fear about tomorrow. God has not given us the spirit of fear. The expression ”fear not” appears 365 times in the Bible, which invariably means there is a dose of fear not per day! We must always remember that today is the tomorrow spoken about yesterday. If your employer had not overcome the fear of insecurity or what most of us tag ”fear of the unknown”, you would not be in that your office working. It takes courage and absolute faith in God to live the kind of life you are destined to live. Today, I run a demonstration farm in Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria, where I rear rabbits, chickens, snails, among others and still train people on the need to be self-reliant. This is possible because I confronted my fear. I could have raised several excuses why the farm should not start. Setting up the farm has come with its challenges, but the will to win has been my sustaining power.

What you must always know is that there is no gain without pain. You don’t have to fear failure. There are no secrets to success. Don’t waste your time looking for them. We pay a heavy price for our fear of failure. It is a powerful obstacle to growth. There is no learning without some difficulty and fumbling. If you want to keep on learning, you must keep on risking failure – ALL YOUR LIFE. Take that bold step now, fear not. Remember, what Orison Swett Marden said: ”many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat he would never have known great victory

April 6, 2011April 13, 2011

Conquering Your Fear of FEAR, FAILURE and The FUTURE

AFRICAN YOUTHS AND THE 3F ENEMIES…..GAINING VICTORY FOR SELF DEVELOPMENT.

“Know the enemy and know yourself, and in a hundred battles you will never be defeated; when you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal; if you are ignorant of both your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be defeated” – Sun Tzu (The Art of War).

The quote above is unequivocally food for thought for all ages but especially the youth. I mean the African youth who appear ‘trapped’ by these conquerable enemies identified above as 3Fs….. FEAR, FAILURE AND THE FUTURE.

Take a moment to reflect on these popular quotes on the enemy of fear:

” I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fear to do”….Eleanor Roosevelt.

”Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear”… Ambrose Redmoon. ”

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear”…Edmund Burke. ”

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom”….Bertrand Russell..

No human is immune to this ‘abstract feeling’, regardless of age, social status, and skin color. Fear in this context is not the feeling manifested by an individual when exposed to life threatening situations such as a robbery attack, natural disasters, or the fear associated with the death of a loved one. Rather, the Fear under examination is one that is absolutely within the control of its host. I’ll like to share a personal experience along this line as a youth. I remember growing up in the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria with so many attractions around. As a youth while in High school (secondary education), I had a deep interest in sciences wanting to become a Medical doctor or a Pilot. My Dad used to have a health book as big as an encyclopedia. I usually pick up the book from his library at my leisure to read even though most of what I was reading made little or no academic sense to me. Moreover, growing up in an environment that was not ‘science friendly’ so to say, I started nurturing the fear of pessimism. Added to this was the issue of finance. In school, most of those in the sciences were mates from affluent or wealthy homes. So I had this mindset like, which may be true of most young people that success in the sciences depends on the pay-book of our parents. Hence, I had to settle for the major that accommodates students from all walks of life, the Business Department.

Closely associated with ‘fear’, is the enemy of Failure. In my view, the fear of failure is largely responsible for the stagnant and under-developed psyche of an average person especially youths. In this part of the world (Africa) where superstitions and the fear of the Unknown permeates, many individuals out of lack of motivation and willpower submit themselves to the dictates of their environment thereby giving up after few encounters with failure. Interestingly though, most of the world acclaimed and celebrated personalities from time immemorial, in Africa and in the Diaspora, were beset by this ‘enemy’ on a constant basis and yet are known for success today. Bill Gates, Wright Brothers, Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka and most recently, Barrack Obama were all ‘victimized’ at one point or the other in their quest towards success by failure. However, due to determination to succeed at all cost, these individuals are known for who they are today. The same can be your experience too. Failure in my opinion, no matter how often it besets its recipient, is only a natural manifestation, to some extent the frailty of the human species, which is inevitable before success can be realized. Ponder over this: What does it take an infant to become a toddler and grow into childhood? It takes days, weeks and months of repeated crawling, stooping and falling (failure) as a natural experience. In the same vein, failure in whatever form, be it in your academics, business, relationships and other areas of life should not be a deterrent to your progress and success in life. As a very good friend puts it in an article; ‘MAKING IT SLOWLY BUR SURELY‘, Tunde Oseni fervently addressed issues on success in life as a gradual process that takes time to materialize. Therein, he advised youths, especially those in the developing economies, never to be ‘too ambitious to succeed’. Rather, with the right ‘tools’ such as education, commitment, perseverance amongst others, success is guaranteed even though it may come slowly. Therefore, never allow the failure of today to becloud the success of tomorrow. No matter, how many times failure comes your way, realize that what matters most is your unrelenting determination to turn it into success.

The last ‘enemy’ identified above is the Future. Erroneously, many usually see the Future as being into the distant days ahead. However, the future starts today! Future in this context is the unnecessary worries, concerns and anxieties about tomorrow. Needless to state, it is vital to think or plan ahead of time. Many though have allowed themselves to be entrapped by the uncertainties of life thereby giving up effort towards a bright future. Most African youths grow up in an environment that barely impact positively on their lives. Environments where values which define us a people have been thrown into the air, environment where leaders lack integrity and national interest, environment were the youths hardly have a voice especially in government. Despite these limitations, a good number of African youths have made the best for themselves. It is important that as youths, we start positioning ourselves now in terms of empowerment for the future. Obama positioned himself years ago through academic and intellectual empowerment, emerging as the President of the United States of America in 2009. Certainly, a ‘mystery in disguise!! The same can be your experience too. A positive mindset coupled with optimism is needed to successfully wage the battle for a bright Future.

Hence, a call goes to everyone out there, especially African youths who before reading this piece may have been ‘enslaved’ as it were to FEAR, FAILURE and FUTURE. These three ‘enemies’ are within your capacity not only to control, but to conquer. May your Fear turn to be your Freedom, your Failure turn to Fortune and your Future turn to Fame.

February 24, 2011February 27, 2011

Overcoming Scarcity Amidst Abundance

“The hardest thing to see is what is in front of your eyes”

-Goethe

In the last three weeks I have been trying to organise seminars on “Moringa Oleifera”, popularly known as wonder plant, for secondary school teachers in Osun state, Nigeria. “What is Moringa?” And why secondary school teachers?

Moringa, I discovered recently, contains 7 times the vitamin C of oranges, 4 times the vitamin A of carrots, 4 times the calcium of milk, 3 times the potassium of banana and 2 times the protein of yoghurt. Besides its nutritional value, it can save millions of lives and it could be used to generate bio-gas, among others. As a result of its enormous benefits to mankind, I decided to share what I know with others so that our society can be a better place to live in. So I made up my mind to first take this money-spinning idea to my former constituency – to teachers. I taught for six years before I moved on to other things in life. I was however shocked to find out that the way it was when I was still teaching, is still the way it is now. Despite the immense opportunities in Moringa that my people in “chalk and talk” business could tap into, they bombarded me with litany of complaints such as ‘we don’t have money’, ‘the money you are charging for the seminar is too much’ and so on. You may want to ask how much is the money? Just $6 to turn their lives round! My heart bled because those who are supposed to know are actually ignorant of what could fetch them additional income. Those we expect so much from cannot see what is right in front of them!

There is no doubt that we are blessed in Africa. But we seem blind to a lot of opportunities around us simply because of our scarcity mentality. We think of what we do not have rather than taking advantage of what we have. We complain we do not have money, thinking that it is only money we need to make money. We have forgotten that we cannot rise above the level of our thinking. If we think we do not have then definitely we may not have. Besides Moringa, there are other opportunities for us that we can take advantage of in Africa, but we still complain we do not have when we live amidst abundance. How then do we overcome this scarcity mentality that has tethered us down for a long time?

The first step to take is to renew our thoughts daily. What we think about, we become. Who we are outside is a reflection of who we are inside. If you see yourself as poor person inside there is no way you can be rich outside. Most civil servants in African societies more often than not see themselves as poor, and their appearances reflect their state of mind from time to time. So, to overcome scarcity mentality, you must consciously renew your thoughts. Rid your yourself of negative thought and thoughts of scarcity. Think abundance. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Desires and confessions are intertwined; they are inseparable. While many have done their desires a lot of good through the words of their mouths, others have short-changed themselves with their confessions. You cannot be a poor person within and be rich without. You cannot be a gloomy person within and be cheerful without. What a man will be on the outside, he must first be in the inside. You must speak power to your desires which first exist as thoughts in your mind.

But beyond the renewal of your thoughts and your confessions, you must also put life to your words through action. Nothing moves unless we move. We may continue to complain we do not have if we do not activate what we have in our minds. This brings to mind the story of a man who lives in my new neighbourhood. I met this man sometime in 2008. He had a life-threatening experience during the Modakeke-Ife internecine war in 2000. He lost everything he had laboured for in the war – cars, houses, businesses! The only thing he had left was his life. This man, because of his pastoral calling, was fond of confessing positive things without taking any concrete actions. The result? He kept on complaining of lack! About a month ago, this man approached me for counsel. I had to be down-to-earth with him. I told him that what he needed was to take a concrete step. I advised him to sell one of his burnt houses to start a business. He did what I advised him to do and today he is a poultry farmer. He does not complain about not having what to eat again. He is gradually recovering what he lost during the war. It is not sufficient to confess positive thoughts alone; we need to back them up with action.

You may be thinking that taking action is not easy. I know. But it is possible to start with what you have from where you are. It is just a matter of starting small. It is little drops of water that make a mighty ocean. We may remain at the level of scarcity if we do not want to begin small. It may interest you to note that I started rabbit rearing with just 2 rabbits – 1 male and 1 female, but today I have a big rabbit farm. We do not just sell live rabbits, but also sell processed rabbits! What you do not start, cannot grow.

To overcome scarcity mentality therefore, we must consciously practise the following tips:

Renew your thoughts daily; avoid negative thoughts as much as possible and think possibilities.
Take a step beyond positive thinking; take action; and
If you think taking action is not that easy, start what you have thought about in a small way from where you are.

With the steps above, you will begin to sing a new song. No more scarcity mentality; you will begin to see the immense opportunities in Africa. You are not created to lack; you are created to have everything in abundance.

February 24, 2011February 24, 2011

How to Give Meaning to a Clueless Life

The greatest tragedy of life is for people to live and die and never come out of themselves, to never realise the possibilities hidden within them. Each time I come across people with huge potentials and who seem to be clueless about what to do with their innate abilities, my heart bleeds. To give meaning to your life you must live it on purpose. There is nothing as dangerous as living a life that has no bearing. Such a life will definitely be very boring!

How can you then give meaning to a clueless life?

The way out is to discover who you are. When you know who you are it becomes easy to live a purpose-driven life. You would have discovered the purpose for which you are in this world.

So I want you to take time to ruminate over the following and answer them as truthfully as possible:

Do I love where I am today?
Would I like to continue to do the kind of job or the kind of activity that I do today when I come of age?
Am I using my natural talent to do what I do today?
Will I like to be the best of what I am doing today?
What one thing do I need to do to make the greatest possible change in my life?
Who is doing something closest to my dream?
What area will I like to make a positive impact?
What will I like to be remembered for?
What mind-blowing accomplishment will I want my name to be associated with?
What field will I like my name to define?
What do I do best with the least effort?
What kind of help do people frequently ask from me?
What is that area people show me the greatest respect?
What can I do for fun and still earn money?
What irritates me the most when it is poorly done?
I usually lose track of time when ……………………
Which of all the human needs touches my heart most?
I am the solution, what is the problem?
Who has this problem?
Which books, magazines or discussions interest me the most?

I am convinced that if you can consciously and truthfully answer the questions above, you will discover your potentials and know exactly who you are. With this, you will have succeeded in giving meaning to your life, even if you had no clue before.

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February 17, 2011February 19, 2011

Your Expectations Can Determine Whether a Drug Works for You

Your can manipulate your thought to determine the effect of drugs

A positive attitude in life is not only essential for career development and success, in fact according a new study published in Science Translational Medicine, pessimism can determine whether a drug works for you or not. According to the study, a patient’s belief that a drug will not work can become a self fulfilling prophecy.

What this means that if one expects that a tablet of ibuprofen will do nothing to alleviate his or her pain, the body may actually not experience any benefit from taking the pill. Simply put, you can change the outcome of the drug by manipulating your thoughts and expectations. It all boils down to the state of mind.

I’ve summarized the study for you below

The experimental Setup:

The researchers assembled 22 patients for the study. At the beginning of the experiments, heat was applied to the legs of the patients. On a scale of 1 to 100, the patients were then asked to report the level of pain. Then the patients were attached to an intravenous drip in order to administer drugs to them in secret.

The Result:

The initial average pain rating was 66. After the patients were given remifentanil, which is a potent painkiller, without their knowledge, the pain score went down to 55.

They were then told they were being given a painkiller and the score went down to 39.

Then, without changing the dose, the patients were then told the painkiller had been withdrawn and so they should expect pain. The score went up to 64.

So even though the patients were being given remifentanil, they were reporting the same level of pain as when they were getting no drugs at all.

The conclusion (mine)?
Your brain or state of mind plays a big role in the way you perceive pain, feel your environment and even acknowledge the effect of sickness. In essence, there is a cognitive side of sickness. If the magic pill that works for everybody isn’t working for you, it may be time to recondition your thought rather than switch doctors or blame the drug manufacturer.

But the bigger picture here is the need to acknowledge how pessimism can derail your progress in several facets of life. If nothing is working, it may all be in your mind.

Begin to think positively; you won’t lose anything if you find out your were wrong. Someone once said

“In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.”

February 12, 2011February 15, 2011

How to Start Over With a Positive Attitude

There is no limitation to what you can achieve in life. The only limitation to achieving great feats in life is the one set by you. Therefore, no matter what you are going through; no matter where you are at the moment, be admonished that it is not yet over. There is always a chance to start over. If you have failed on any project, there is good news for you: the word “fail” simply means ‘First Attempt in Learning”. You can start all over again. The fact that you are alive is an indication that you still have a second chance. Hear Helen Keller “when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed-door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us”

What this implies is that you do not need to continuously brood over what has happened as you have no power over it. You must be aware that what has been done cannot be undone. You can begin again when you see any setback in life as a learning process and press on with a positive attitude. There is nothing that happens to man in life that God does not know about. This thus suggests that whatever happens to us has a purpose and nothing happens by accident.

If you allow this to sink into your system, you will begin to see that the story of a man does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four; sometimes in life they make five or even minus three, and sometimes the black-board topples down in the middle of the sum, leaving the teacher with the black eye! We must therefore not lose sight of the fact that obstacles are there to toughen and prepare us for the challenges ahead.

This realization is possible depending on how you view any predicament you find yourselves in. Do you see the half-filled cup of water as “half-empty” or “half-full”? The way you describe such a cup of water will go a long way to depict your outlook on life. Imbibe a positive attitude to life and you will reach higher altitude and change your life for ever.
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